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October 5, 2013
There are many reasons a person may have an affair in a marriage. They can have low self-esteem, sexual addiction, deep emotional deprivation, or just a plain sense of entitlement. Whatever the reason for the affair, the impact is degrading and traumatic. No one gets married expecting to suffer from such emotional betrayal. So, when it occurs you ask the question, “How could this happen to me?” There are many social reasons that an affair might occur in a marriage: a change in the relationship, the birth of a child, the death of a significant parent and sometimes even the loss of a job, but also there can be depression, as well as the use of alcohol and drugs to cope with depression. Often there has been an emotional break in the relationship causing distancing. Whatever the reason, affairs don’t make a weak marriage stronger. It will generally cause a breakdown in a couple’s connection to each other, thus reducing a sense of safety and security between them. Some individuals report that the affair can provide what’s missing in the marriage…passionate sex and greater closeness. Of course, this is not realistic. If your marriage is in trouble for whatever reason, what will save it is not bringing a third party into your troubled situation, but instead seeking professional help to attend to the dying marriage.
Do You Think You Are Relating with Unrealistic Hope?