How’s Your Relationship with Yourself?
You need to get yourself together so that you can be in a healthy relationship with others. This requires working on your own issues such as your fears, vulnerabilities, and past hurts. Getting involved with other people to make you feel good won’t resolve your issues. This is often referred to as “entitlement syndrome”. This is expecting others to rescue you from your unfinished business. You need to get rid of your entitlement agenda. Here’s an exercise that you may wish to try to determine what your entitlement issues are.
In a notebook or personal journal, write down your four (4) needs you felt went unfulfilled during your childhood or adolescence.
Write down four (4) things that you wish your partner would do for you today. Be as specific as you can. For example, perhaps you would like your partner to listen to you without interrupting because your parent was not available enough to listen. In other words, what gets triggered in you now as a hot button from your partner is really an unresolved issue left over from you and your parent.
Compare the two lists (#1 and #2) that you just made. You might be surprised how closely tied they are. Now you can examine how the past and the present needs overlap. These are the areas that you need renewal work around and seek guidance through counseling to change.