New Rules on Relationship Skills
LOVE LESSONS 101 Often partners are searching for ways to keep love alive, enriched, and spiritually strong. Using the various suggestions that follow will confirm your love and keep it good and strong.
Begin by thinking about ways that you take care and love yourself. This will reduce the internal pressure of always feeling someone else must give you the love you’re not providing for yourself.
Stop the fantasies about what others owe you. Loved ones are not responsible for all your needs. Rescue fantasies don’t create real love or lasting love.
Try not to think of love as something that’s measured in doses; love is not a medicine for all your emotional ills.
Reduce negative thinking about your partner. Focusing on negatives only brings more negative energy into the relationship. Identify what you can do together to make change occur. Through work, faith, and positive thinking you can redefine your love together.
Learn to ask directly for what you want in your relationship. Keep in mind that your partner is not your parent. Your partner can only provide what he/she is capable of giving based upon who the person is and where the person is in life.
Determine the difference between what you need and what you would like to have. When you demand things and label them as a show of love, you are setting up a “conditional” situation for love. Real love has few conditions, but lots of compromises.
Give up thinking that love requires one person being in charge, while the other follows the commands of his/her partner. Real love works most effectively when both parties work interdependently. Share the responsibilities for making the relationship work; rely on your love energy, not solely upon the other person.
Introduce a healthy attitude about emotional and sexual energies into your love connections. Real love has no room for shame about sexuality, but it does have a high level of emotional intimacy attached to it. Sex is a natural, pleasurable part of life. When it is spiritually strong, sex is rewarding for each partner.
Accept the reality that no one is perfect, even though you strive for perfect outcomes in your relationship. Humans make mistakes, better referred to as learning growth experiences.
Try to confront your fears early on in the relationship. Fears produce defenses, and defenses cause intimacy and trust to break down. Taking ownership of what scares you will help reduce anxiety and power struggles. Remember to express what you feel by attacking the problem not the person.
Remember: Love can be wonderfully delicious, but only when you decide to be honest and open to it…only then is “Good Loving Easy”.
Please comment and let Audrey know which of these rules you need help with.
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